💼 May 2025 Love TL;DR
Vibe Check: LinkedIn-worthy dates × 5-year relationship plans
Power Move: May 20-26 (Saturn-Jupiter trine = CEO-level couple potential)
Toxic Trap: May 12-18 (Mercury RX = exes sending "business opportunity" DMs)
Soulmate Alert: Virgo/Taurus (fellow spreadsheet lovers)
📈 Weekly Love ROI Report
Week 1 (May 1-7): "Boardroom Romance"
Venus in Taurus: You're attracted to partners with 800+ credit scores
Best Move: Co-working space dates (productivity → intimacy pipeline)
Watch Out: That "free-spirited" Sagittarius forgetting date times
Week 2 (May 8-14): "Emotional Audit"
Full Moon in Scorpio (May 12): Secret admirer slips a business card in your bag
Pro Tip: Use Notion for relationship KPI tracking
Single Caps: Your tax consultant is suspiciously flirty
Week 3 (May 15-21): "Merger Talks"
Mars in Gemini: You fall for someone who debates economic policies in bed
Wild Card: Networking event turns into marriage proposal
Week 4 (May 22-31): "IPO Season"
Sun in Gemini: Your parents finally approve someone (shocking everyone)
Make-or-Break: May 28 = "joint investment portfolio" discussion
🌏 Regional Power Moves
India: Garnet for negotiation power
Singapore: Hawker center spreadsheet dates = love language
Malaysia: Petronas Towers power lunch = ultimate flex
🚨 May Love Red Flags
May 12-18: Mercury RX = Ex proposing pyramid schemes
May 19: Mars-Pluto square = Someone criticizing your 10-year plan
May 26: Avoid prenup talks (too early...or is it?)
💎 Cap-Specific Protocols
Texting Strategy:
✅ Blue tick = read receipt discipline
❌ Never text during market hours
Spot Your Soulmate:
Their app: Bloomberg Terminal
Their ick: "I don't do budgets"
Breakup Recovery:
Playlist: "Rich Flex" + "Pasoori Nu (Remix)"
Hinge Prompt: "Let's merge our 5-year plans"
**✨ Final Fiscal Verdict**
May delivers 85% strategic bonding, 15% spreadsheet-induced passion. Your mantra: "I attract love that appreciates my appreciation."
Andrew
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2025.04.17
